During Christmas time in the midst of a conversation with a family friend, I mentioned how I wanted to work the same amount of time I work now and make WAYYYY more money.
She laughed a little like as if wanting to say “well, wouldn’t that be nice!”. Her reaction to this was like I was a bit crazy and it’s not possible.
Then I gave her real life examples of people creating exponential quantum leap type growth in their business. Women I follow in the online space tripling their business’s income in a year. Women making multi-millions of dollars working part time hours with their kids.
I could see her mind starting to open up and shift a little bit more.
It can be easy sometimes to buy into other people’s opinions about what we want to with our life.
I’m sure you’ve been there at some point where you open up to someone about an idea or goal you have: whether it be creating a new business, switching careers, making more money, working while raising kids, travel dreams, lifestyle dreams.
And their reaction or comments about what you’ve shared creates a bit of doubt or deflation in you.
When this happens we can sometimes second guess ourselves, lower our dreams and expectations, or feel a bit frozen in indecision.
Sometimes people sit for so long on big ideas or changes because of the doubt that was instilled in them from others.
First I want you to remember – no one else can actually do this to you.
No one else actually has the power to make you doubt yourself, to feel deflated, or to make you second guess yourself.
We are in control of taking outside information in (other people’s opinions) – and deciding what we want to do this that information.
And so in this episode I want to share a few useful perspectives on how we can approach receiving opinions from other people about our goals and dreams that are not in our favor.
#1 – Other people’s opinions are based on their own past experiences and their own beliefs & limiting beliefs.
They have nothing to do with you – and are all based on how they interpret and see the world, and what they see as possible.
Example: Telling my mom back in 2014/15 I was frustrated because I wanted to go see all these amazing places around the world – and her saying that some people are just happy to be able to pay their bills. I decided that was NOT my belief and I could choose whatever life I wanted. I went on to travel throughout Europe for a few months, and live abroad for 6 years.
Example: Telling a friend back when I had decided to move to Australia – that I imagined us in the future spending part of the year in Australia and part of the year in the US. She basically said, “yea sounds great but you can’t do that once they start school”.
So if you are sharing your dreams and ideas with someone – and they throw things at you like:
- “Well yea that’d be great, but thats not realistic”
- “Why do you even need to make that much money”
- “That’s risky”
- “Don’t you know most businesses fail”
- “That’s already been done before”
- “You’ll have to put in a ton of hard work and hours to do that”
What this is really showing here is their own beliefs around:
- What’s realistic based on the people are them
- Their own limiting beliefs surrounding money, time, effort and what’s possible
- What feels risky or scary to THEM
- Passing on things negative they’ve heard (ie fears)
The way other people view you, and your actions, your goals, your ideas, your words – is all based on their own past programming and beliefs.
#2 – Choose what lens you want to view your life and goals through
Take in people’s opinion as information about THEM – and then choose how you want to view things for yourself.
It can be so easy to lean on other’s opinions that we value – especially family members, our partners, close friends etc. Especially when it comes to our parents or whoever were our caregivers growing up… we might crave their approval or want their “permission”.
Something I’ve realized is I’ve done a LOOOT of personal development work over the years – and opened up my mind and my beliefs beyond where I came from.
I’ve exposed myself to much more of what’s really possible for us as people through watching other people and learning about their stories (thanks internet!). Remember – those who came before us did not have access to as much information as we do, because of the access to internet.
I’ve always felt this deep belief in myself and my abilities to achieve the dreams I have.
I may not know exactly how, and I may not know the timeframe of when – but KNOW and can feel that knowing in my body.
So sometimes people close to me may question what I am working toward – or not think it’s realistic – or not agree with my own views/beliefs.
And in the past – that would sometimes get to me. I wanted them to be on board. I wanted them to agree. I wanted approval.
This has shifted for me big time when I realized that I get to choose the lens I want to view this from –
and of COURSE I want to view this through the lens of being awakened, informed, and most of all – with the lens of what aligns to my own intuition and higher self.
Why would I CHOOSE to view this through an outdated lens?
#3 – Choose wisely who you share your goals and dreams with.
Depending on the company you’re choosing to open up to – you can get wildly different reactions to the ideas you have and choices you’re making. Some people may think you’re crazy and unknowingly pass on their own fears – while other’s may cheer you on and embrace you.
You can choose who you share things with, and how much you share.
I’ve realized the more I believe in my own vision, goals and dreams – the less I am seeking outside approval and opinions about them.
I tend to not give everyone the full view into what it is I’m working to manifest – and keep that a bit more protected and private.
I love living in my own reality and sometimes my own illusion. Truly living in illusion is actually part of the manifestation process! We can create these future self realities and live into them as if they’re already here. And not everyone gets this approach or process.
This doesn’t mean don’t tell anyone about your big dreams and goals.
It just means you do get to chose who you want to share them with – and how much you want to share.
And then – if they do come back with an opinion you don’t like – take it as just information about them.
You get to decide if their opinion is of use to you – or not.
#4 – Look for evidence its possible
This is one of my favorite ways to snap myself out of it if I’m ever doubting or second guessing my goals.
The world is FULL of evidence of other people creating what we want to create.
They’ve shown you it’s possible.
They’ve laid the foundation.
And rather then attempting to go down the thinking path of “well they could do it because they have/are ____ but I can’t do it because I’m _____.
You could instead reflect on…
- What can I learn from them?
- What resources do I already have available to me?
- How can I break this down into much smaller steps toward that?
Want to stay in the loop for all future Align & Amplify Podcast episodes?!
CLICK HERE to subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
